eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
