i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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