the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
it was like eating out sand paper
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
