can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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