Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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