She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
