Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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