Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Ketchup is God's man juice
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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