hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
