I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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