I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
