remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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