It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize