Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
