I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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