How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize