And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
