Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
