I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
