Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
