were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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