The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
