Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
