Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize