Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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