Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
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But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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