No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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