Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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