I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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