My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
