I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
