He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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