ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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