i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
