Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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