the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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