Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
