the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize