I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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