Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
