I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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