she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
