i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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