My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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