Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
