I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
