Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I think people are normalizing furries
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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