Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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