Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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