Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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