College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
