My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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