So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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