Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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