No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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