Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
