I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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