do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
