At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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