I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
