I think im going to throw up on grandma
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
