i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
