Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize