is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
